Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Happy Festivus, damnit!

Since I'm still snowed in here, I will use the blog for my Festivus celebration this year.

We begin with the Airing of the Grievances. I shall direct my comments to Mother Nature, who is sorely vexing me at the moment.

Hey you, Mother! What the heck do you think you're doing?! In case you didn't notice, I live in Hillsboro, OREGON, not FARGO, NORTH DAKTOA! Further, I'm in a valley at around 200 freakin' feet above sea level. We're supposed to get rain here, not snow! Don't get me wrong, I like snow. I just don't love snow, if ya know what I mean. I don't mind the occasional dusting, but come on! This has been going on for 10 days now and I'm darned sick of it! Enough already!

Oh, and by the way, my Festivus Pole is buried under the snow covering my back yard, thankyouverymuch! And since I can't get to the store, my Festivus Feast shall consist of whatever I can cobble together from my fridge and pantry. Vast resources such as freezer-burned chicken cutlets and stale crackers come to mind. Yummy!

The next and final segment of the celebation involves Feats of Strength. Again, Mother Nature is my opponent and while I may not be able to pin her in a traditional wrestling match, I can outlast, outwit, and outplay her. I shall shovel. I shall hibernate. I shall wear layers. I shall knit and spin. I shall take walks and smile while taking pretty pictures of all this damn snow. I SHALL PREVAIL! And when, at last, the sun shines and the temperature rises above 32 degrees F, I shall drive again! Take that, you Mother!

Here's hoping you have a satisfying Festivus celebration of your own. Personally, I feel much better now.

Disclaimer: While I'm really tired of the snow, it doesn't bother me this much. But in keeping with the Festivus tradition, one must get ticked off about something, and this year the weather is the best target. :)


Tammy said...

Love the disclaimer.

Fortunately Robert had the foresight to buy a rib roast that was on sale before all of this started. I'll make do with whatever else I can find in the pantry.

tarehna said...

Love the post. I, in desperation, googled "when can I drive again?'...and came up randomly upon a blog from a neighbor (I'm in Hillsboro, Oregon, too) who knits (me, too!).

I miss being inside my car, being able to drive it places.

Merry Festivus--enjoy the cutlets and crackers!

Little Ol' Liz said...

One of the many reasons ou're part of my Blogglines que.
Party on!